Common Misconceptions of Stay at Home Parents

So this is something that has been irking me for a very long time now. I have been a stay at home mom for 4 years, and it seems I am always dealing with the same common misconceptions.  I have 4 kids, with all of them being very close in age, which means they’re each in their own stage of growth at the moment. So let me just lay out all the misconceptions & BS that stay at home parents get below. And yes, some you deal with, some you don’t. Each situation varies by family of course. 

1.

People assume that because you stay home, you’re not allowed to be tired. 

This is absolutely some major BS right there! As a SAHP (stay at home parent), you have your littles depending on you, all the household chores & cooking riding on you, and your spouse depending on you; not to mention, you probably have your own goals that depend on you as well. In my situation, I am at the stage where Isaiah (my soon to be 7 yr old) is working on bettering his speech and retaining all his school skills for the upcoming 1st grade year, which I will also be having to help him w| virtual learning once August comes. Joshua (my soon to be 5 yr old) is working on honing his pre-k skills, and is the BIGGEST pain in my butt. Elijah (my soon to be 3 yr old) is working on learning his abcs, 123s, spelling his name, and just finally mastered being potty trained during the night. Isabella (my 1 yr old) just learned how to walk, is learning new words daily, just weaned off of pacifiers & bottles (new blog post on that soon) and is well on her way to becoming more independent. Soooo on top of all that teaching I do, I am constantly breaking up fights between the boys, constantly fighting with Joshua who has to fight me on literally EVERYTHING, always cleaning 24/7, I run 2  businesses from home, and I attempt to workout when I can. Oh and did I mention, I suffer from insomnia most nights which leads me to getting about 4 hours of sleep DAILY. I am physically and mentally tired by the end of the day. So when you hear a SAHP say I’m tired, we don’t need someone saying “how are you tired? You don’t leave the house to work. You’re home all day.“ Just don’t say it. 

2.

People assume that because we stay home, all we do is sit on our butt on our phone or watching tv all day. 

Absolutely not. We don’t. Refer to #1. And if you see us sitting down on our phone or watching tv, that is probably the first time we sat down all day. We just need a moment to ourselves before we go back to being the teacher, maid, cook who’s only company all day are our little humans.  So don’t say it. Don’t say all we do is sit on our butts, on our phone or watching tv. Just don’t. 

3.

People assume that because we stay home, we don’t want to work. 

Once again, false. Mostly. Yes, some SAHP don’t want to work, but in some cases, they’re not able to work. In my case, if I was to work while Javier also worked, we would need a babysitter.  However, we do not have anyone who able or willing to watch all 4 kids on the daily. Plus, we are not financially able to put the kids in daycare, not that I want to anyways. If we put them in daycare, I’d be working just to pay for their daycare which just defeats the whole purpose. So yes, I’d love to work and be able to help bring in money, but with our situation, I am more than happy to work from home. So please don’t assume we are lazy for not leaving the house to work. We are all making the best out of our situations. 

4.

People assume that SAHP don’t need or deserve a break. And if we ask for a break, we are being selfish. 

Uhmm how? Working parents come home and usually want a break between coming home and getting to the family matters, chores etc. SAHP are home, with the kids, doing all the things, all the time. They do not have a job they can leave the house for. They do not get a break at the end of the day. This is their life. This is what they do 24/7.  And  before anyone goes and says, “this is what you signed up for. Maybe you shouldn’t have had kids then.”, just don’t. Don’t say it. You can have kids and love them with your entire being and still need a break. So just don’t. 

5.

People assume that SAHP are always making play dates & outings w| all their friends. 

Ha! How I wish this was true lol.  The majority of us have Z E R O friends sadly. And the friends we do have are usually busy with their own lives, work, etc. 

Did I miss anything here? I tried to list all of them, especially ones I deal with daily. 🙄 lol so for those of you who aren’t a SAHP, but personally know a SAHP, please make sure to think twice before making any of the aforementioned comments to your SAHP. And if you are a spouse to a SAHP, maybe surprise your spouse by heping our with the chores or the kids every now and then. Or maybe find a way to give them a break. Get them out of the house so they can have alone time, a few hours to breathe and recenter themselves. Because we all know you can’t pour from an empty cup. Happy wife, happy life right? 🤪

What are some common misconceptions that you deal with as a SAHP? Comment them down below or just leave some feedback!

Until next time,

Xo Mama Unfiltered 🖤